An anonymous user from Lahore, Pakistan
The irrationality of an addict's mental processes. Heroin use reprograms your mind so you are unable to think about much more than your next fix and the means to get it. You bypass any moral code you may have held in order to get more and keep putting off any feelings of guilt, shame or regret until you have it. Then they don't seem to matter that much anymore until it wears off. Then it's time to worry about the next fix. And the vicious cycle continues. You're not really getting high anymore, you keep needing more and more just to feel somewhat normal, to stop the pain and guilt from crashing down. The physical withdrawals are horrible but the real hell is in your mind. All that avoidance results in a well of stress and negative emotion and when the smack wears off it's like a dam bursting. You are unable to function. You can't even think coherently and that's when reality hits you. Just when you can't process it.